


Fight or Flight

by Lilluv



Category: Newsies - All Media Types
Genre: Brother in Air Force, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Lots Of Sprace Fluff, M/M, Major Death Before Story, Modern AU, Some angst, some homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 09:13:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 19,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19989664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilluv/pseuds/Lilluv
Summary: Jack, Race, and Crutchie are brothers. When they were young, their parents passed away, so Jack decided to take care of his little brothers. When he leaves to join the Air Force, his long-time girlfriend Katherine takes over as their caretaker.





	1. Didn't We Almost Have It All?

**Author's Note:**

> This story is told from Race's perspective

I pushed the cereal around in my bowl, watching it get soggy.

"Race, do you need a ride to school?" Katherine asked, packing a lunch for Crutchie.

"No, Spot is picking me up." I responded.

"Ok." She said halfheartedly, putting Crutchie's lunch in his backpack, and running out of the kitchen. She called up the stairs from the living room, "Crutchie! Hurry up or I'll be late for work!"

Katherine worked at the New York Sun. It's one of the oldest papers in the state. She has to commute into the city every day from Jack, Crutchie, and my parent's old house where she lives with us in the suburbs every day, but she never complains. She loves her work, and she loves us even more.

"Coming!" Crutchie called down the stairs as he started the balancing act he miraculously did with his bum leg multiple times a day. I never understood how he did it.

He got all the way down the stairs and came into the kitchen, sitting down in the chair across from me at the table.

"Do you want some breakfast, Crutchie?" Katherine asked, still running around the kitchen like a maniac.

"No, I'm fine with an apple." He responded, picking one up from the fruit bowl in the middle of the table and taking a big bite.

"Do you need me to pack you a lunch, Race?" Katherine asked.

"No, I'm fine, Katherine. Thanks." I responded, not wanting to add to her work load.

"Come on, Crutchie. We have to go." She said, picking up her purse from the table and heading towards the door, Crutchie following close behind. I heard the door open, then close, and I got up and dumped my soggy cereal down the sink. Katherine insisted that I eat before school, but I just couldn't eat in the morning.

I heard a car horn honk outside the house, so I grabbed my backpack and ran out the door, locking it behind me. I ran down the driveway to Spot's car, finding the passenger door already open when I got there.

"Hey, babe." I said, climbing into the car and pulling the door closed behind me, leaning over the console to kiss my boyfriend.

"Hey." He responded after I pulled away. "How are you?"

"I'm ok." I said solemnly. "Today is the anniversary of my parent's death, so it's going to be a tough one."

"I'm sorry, babe." Spot comforted, putting one of his hands on my shoulder.

My parents died five years ago today. They were in a horrible car accident that killed them both instantly. So, since Jack was eighteen, he decided to take care of us himself instead of putting us in foster care. But, about a year ago, he decided to join the Air Force, and he left for his first tour in Iraq a few months ago. So, his girlfriend Katherine moved in with us and takes care of us. We love her, but it hasn't been the same without Jack.

"And I have finals this week, which makes everything worse." I groaned.

"That sucks." Spot responded.

"You're lucky." I said. "Juniors had their finals last week. Sophomores have them this week."

"Babe, I love you, but if you keep complaining about finals, I'm kicking you out of this car." Spot laughed.

"Ok, sorry. I'll stop." I said, still mentally complaining about finals.

"How's Crutchie?" Spot asked. One of the reasons I loved Spot was because he cared for my little brother like he was his own little brother. It was so sweet.

"He's good." I responded. "He's so excited to get out of middle school and start freshman year next year."

As I finished my answer, Spot pulled into a parking space outside our school, and we got out of the car. I walked around to where he was standing next to the driver door and took his hand, and we walked into school together, ready to brave a new day.

XXX

I walked past Katherine's bedroom after school, hearing faint whispers coming from under the closed door.

"Yeah." She said, and then there was a pause. "Crutchie's home. I don't know if Race is yet. Spot was supposed to drop his off." Another pause. I could tell she was on the phone with Jack. I'm surprised she was getting a connection. Normally he could only hold it for a few minutes.

"Yeah." She continued. "I miss you, too. I love yo... Jack? Jack?" And there was a crash.

I knocked on the door, and opened it without even waiting for a response.

"Katherine? Are you ok?" I asked. She was sitting in her bed, head in her hands, and her phone was on the floor on the other side of the room, the screen cracked. I guess that's what the crash was.

"What? Oh, yeah. I'm fine." She responded, and I went and sat next to her on her bed.

"I miss him too." I said, hugging her.

"I just miss him so much! He's only been gone a few months... I don't know how much longer I can do this." She cried.

"He'll come back." I promised her. "He always does."

"But what if he doesn't?" She asked. "What if..."

"You can't think like that." I said, cutting her off. "He'll come back."

I looked up at the wall behind me, where Katherine hung all her pictures Jack has drawn over the years. Of her, of Crutchie and I, of my parents... They were all so beautiful and life-like.

"He'll come back." I whispered again, trying to convince myself this time. "He'll come back."


	2. Catastrophe and the Cure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a flashback to a few months before the story began. From now on, any and all flashbacks will be in italics.

_I crept down the stairs to the kitchen, careful to keep our old creaky stairs quiet. When I got to the bottom, I heard voices coming from the kitchen. The door was closed, so I walked up and listened._

_"How could you do this to me, Jack? To your brothers?" Katherine demanded._

_"It's a calling, Ace. I need to go." Jack said._

_"You 'need' to leave us?" She exclaimed. I could tell she was crying._

_"I need to serve!" Jack said, raising his voice._

_"Jack, I love you and your brothers. So much. But what your asking..." She trailed off. "This is a lot to take on. I'm just getting started in my career, and I need time to work on that."_

_"I know, Ace. And I wouldn't ask you if I didn't have to, but... we have no one else. When our parents died... they didn't have any siblings. All four of our grandparents were already dead. Your all we have, Ace." Jack explained._

_"Jack, you're asking me to move here. To take care of your brothers while you go join the Air Force and live in some war zone. For months!" She choked._

_"Is it true?" I demanded, storming into the kitchen to find Jack standing in the corner and Katherine sitting at the table. "Are you leaving?"_

_"Race, I..." Jack started._

_"Is it true?" I demanded again._

_He sighed. "Yes. It is. I'm joining the Air Force. But Katherine will be here, and..." That's all I heard before I stormed out._

XXX

_"Hey, babe." Spot said as I climbed into his car the next morning. "What's up?"_

_"Jack is joining the Air Force. He's leaving." I said, and tears started to flow down my face._

_"What?" He asked, dumbfounded. "When did he tell you?"_

_"I overheard him and Katherine talking last night." I cried. "I went to get a drink of water from the kitchen, and they were talking about it when I get down there."_

_"How long will he be gone?" Spot asked, grabbing me and pulling me as close as he could with the console in the way._

_"A few months. I don't know how many." I said, feeling a little bit better in my boyfriend's embrace._

_"I'm so sorry, Race. I know how much you love your brother." He comforted._

_"I'm gonna miss him so much." I cried._

_"I know." He said, climbing up to sit on the console so he could pull me into his arms. "I know."_

_"I can't imagine my life without him." I sniffed, trying to keep more tears from flowing._

_"Let's put this in perspective." Spot suggested._

_"What do you mean?" I asked, looking up at him._

_"Well, he's only going to be gone for a few months, and then he'll be back, and you'll get to see him every day again." Spot said._

_"Yeah." I said. "I guess."_

_"Look, Race." He started. "I know this is really hard for you. I do, really. But, I promise that it will all be ok. He'll leave, and then he'll come back again a few months later, and it will all be ok."_

_"You think so?" I asked._

_"I know so." He said, stroking my hair. "Now, for God's sake, go apologize and make nice with your brother before he leaves." He sat back in the driver's seat._

_"But what about school?" I asked, wiping the last tears off my face._

_"We'll be late. Who cares. We'll tell them we were doing it in the car." He laughed, and I laughed, too._

_I took a deep breath, got out of the car, and walked up the walk to my house. I opened the door to the house to see Jack sitting on the couch, laptop in his lap._

_"Hey, buddy. Did you forget something?" He asked._

_"Yeah. I need to apologize." I started, walking over to sit next to him on the couch._

_"For what?" He asked, putting his laptop on the side table next to the couch._

_"For being a bitch." I replied._

_"Language." He reprimanded, though I know he uses worlds way worse than that all the time._

_"Sorry. Anyway, I was really mean last night." I said. "I'm happy for you. I really am." I said, trying to think of something else to say that would let him know I really am sorry._

_"You don't have to..." He started, but I cut him off._

_"Jack, I really am so sorry for what I did last night. I want you to be happy. I really do. And Katherine is like the sister we never had, and..." I rambled._

_"Race, stop." He said, putting his hand on my shoulder. "I'm happy that you're supportive. I really am. And I'm happy you love Katherine. I do, too."_

_"We hear exactly how much you love her at night." I murmured to myself._

_"Stop!" He exclaimed jokingly, messing up my hair, then pulling me into a hug_

_"So, do you need a ride to school?" He asked, ending the embrace._

_"Nah. Spot is waiting outside in the car." I said, getting up and walking towards the door._

_"Thank you for apologizing, but don't do this again. Being late to school is a hard habit to break." He informed, walking me to the door and opening it._

_"Ok." I said, running out the door and back to Spot's car._

_"How did it go?" Spot asked when I got back into his car._

_"He took it really well." I smiled. "He wasn't even mad to begin with."_

_"Well, that's great." He said, shifting the car into gear and starting to drive to school._


	3. No Man's Land

I clicked on my phone, seeing the picture of Spot kissing my cheek that I set as my background and smiling before unlocking my phone. I went into the photos app and scrolled up to the picture I took the day before Jack left. I was holding my phone out to take the selfie, with Crutchie standing next to me and Katherine behind us, and Jack in his uniform pulling us all in for a hug. I felt tears come to my eyes as I remembered it.

You couldn't see it in the picture, but we were at an ice cream shop in Manhattan. Jack said since it was a special day, we could get sundaes. Jack and Katherine split one, while Crutchie and I insisted on each getting our own. We took the photo while we were waiting for our food. When it came, Crutchie and I stuffed ourselves silly, and the twenty block walk to the parking garage was torture.

Suddenly, I heard a knock at my door, so I shut off my phone and got up off my bed. I walked up to the door and opened it.

"Dinner time." Katherine smiled, and I nodded. She continued down the hall to Crutchie's room, and I went down the stairs to see the dining room table with three places set, no one sitting in the seat where Jack always sat. We always left that seat empty, ever since he left. It felt wrong to fill it.

Katherine walked down the stairs, Crutchie hobbling down behind her, and we all sat down to dinner.

"So, how was school today?" Katherine asked.

"Fine." Crutchie and I responded at the same time, food filling both of our mouths.

We sat in an awkward silence, eating the chicken, mashed potatoes, and peas Katherine had made that night for dinner. When we were almost finished dinner, Katherine's phone rang. She immediately jumped up to get it from the kitchen.

"Hello?" I heard her say from the kitchen, and then after a pause, she called out into the dining room, "Boys! Get in here! It's Jack!"

We both hopped up, and went into the kitchen. Katherine put the phone on speaker and placed it down on the table.

"Hey, Boys! How's it going?" Jack asked from over the phone.

"Good." Crutchie and I chorused into the phone.

"How much time until you come home?" I asked.

"Well, I've been gone for four months, so in two months I'll be home." He said. "What's going on with you, Race?"

"Nothing much. I have a science test on Wednesday." I explained.

"Make sure to study." Jack reminded, and I rolled my eyes. Jack made it sound like he was a scholar by the way he reminded us to study. "What about you, Crutchie?"

"I went to the ortho on Monday." He said. "She wants to give me a brace for my foot."

"When do you get it?" He asked.

"We were going to pick it up a the pharmacy after dinner." Crutchie explained.

"Be good for Katherine, boys." He informed.

"We will." We chorused again.

"Bye." He said, then Katherine picked up the phone and took it off speaker.

"Ok, we're alone now." She said, putting it up to her ear and shooing us out of the kitchen. We sat back down to dinner and listened to Katherine giggle like a schoolgirl from the kitchen while we ate. Crutchie and I made kissy noises of her in mockery of her while we listened to her giggle.

"I love you so much, too." She finally said, ending the call. She walked out of the kitchen and into the dining room with a sad smile on her face. She sat back down at her seat and started pushing her food around on her plate.

"Are you ok, Katherine?" Crutchie asked, all mockery aside.

"Yeah." She said, a single tear running down her cheek. "It's just so hard."

Crutchie and I both got up and ran to her seat, hugging her from behind.

"Thank you so much, boys." She said, and we pulled away after a few moments, and she wiped the tears off her face. "You two keep me strong."

XXX

I sat in my first period science class, drowning out my boring-ass science teacher go on about our final that he stupidly scheduled for the last day of school.

Instead of listening to him, I thought about Jack. Every time I tried to picture what he was doing over there, I just couldn't see it. Was he flying a plane? Was he training new recruits? I never knew.

"Mr. Kelly. What do you think?" My science teacher said, pulling me out of my own mind.

"Umm... What?" I said.

"Can someone please tell Mr. Kelly what we were talking about?" My science teacher said, scanning the room. "Mr. Jacobs."

"We were discussing the layers of the atmosphere. The question was which layer we lived in." Davey answered, a smug look on his face.

"We live in the troposphere." I groaned, then went back to not listening. Davey was such a goody-two-shoes, it made me want to barf. It was easier to think about Jack in a war zone than listen to Davey.

The bell rang that signaled the end of class, and as I went to the door to walk to my next class, my science teacher stopped me on my way out.

"I need to speak with you." He said, and I nodded. "I've noticed over the past few weeks that you haven't really been paying attention."

 _Try always._ I thought

"And with the final this week, I really need you to pay attention so you can use that to get your grade up." He said.

"It's the end of the year, so it's just hard..." I tried, but he made a face that said he didn't believe me, so I started again. "Look, my brothers in the army, and he's stationed in the Middle East right now, and it's just hard to think about anything else."

"Ok, I understand this is hard, but please try to focus in class." He said, then featured to the door, letting me go to my next class.


	4. Damage Case

I walked into science class the next day to find a piece of paper on my desk with a sticky note on top. The sticky note had a note from my teacher.

_You should go to this support group that my sister runs. It will be helpful for you._

I took the note off the sheet and looked at the paper.

**_Army Family Support Group_ **

_A support group that meets at the public library every week on Tuesday evenings all year round for family and friends of members of the army. Join us for food, friends, and conversation._

I must've read it over a million times during that class, until the bell finally rang an hour later. I got up in a daze and went to walk out.

As I passed by my science teacher, he said, "I expect to see you there tonight." Then I walked out.

XXX

"Katherine, I'm going out!" I called, opening the door.

"Ok!" She called from the kitchen. "Don't be too late!"

I walked out of the house and down the street the five blocks to the library. When I walked in, there was a sign that pointed to the rooms to the left that I never bothered to go in that said _Army Family Support Group_ in big block letters. I followed the signs down the hall to the door at the end, and when I opened it, there were a whole bunch of chairs set up in a circle, with a table that had cookies and coffee in the corner. I chose one of the empty seats and sat down.

After a few moments, a woman clapped her hands and said, "Ok! Let's get started!" I scanned the room as everyone sat down, and saw my science teacher linger at the door for a few moments and nodding before disappearing into the hall.

"I'm glad to see so many familiar faces, as well as some new ones." The woman said, nodding to me. I scanned the room to see a young woman with three small children, an older man, two elderly women, and a man that looked around fifty all sitting around the circles of chairs. The woman sat down in a chair one away from mine, which made me just slightly uncomfortable.

"So, were going to start with our usual introductions." The woman started, then said, "Hello, my name is Markia _,_ and my father was in Vietnam during the war, where he sadly passed away." She turned to the person on the other side of her, the mother with the children.

"Hello." She said, picking up one of her children and placing them in a chair. "I'm Lola, and these are my kids. My husband is on a base where we live with him."

The older man went next. "Hello. I'm Al. My brother was killed in an airplane accident on a naval base twenty years ago."

The elderly women said that their brother fought in World War Two and died a few years ago, and the man in his fifties said his daughter works on a base in Maine.

When it finally got to me, everyone stared at me while I put my words together in my head.

"Hello." I started. "My name is Race, and my older brother is on a tour in Iraq right now."

"How did you hear about our group?" The woman leading the conversation asked.

"Uh, my science teacher recommended it. I think he's your brother." I said to the woman.

"Yes." She smiled, then looked out to the rest of the group. "Well, let's get started, shall we?"

XXX

As I walked home, I thought about the hour from hell I just sat through. It was basically just all those people, who all turned out to be overly cheery, telling stories of how hard it was for them when their loved one was gone, or when they died, blah blah blah.

Some of them didn't sound like they had it very hard. The woman with the children and the man in his fifties see their family member a few times a week. The others talked about how their family member died.

When it finally got to me, I turned the dramatics up. I clearly had the hardest time there.

 _"Well, when I was eleven, my parents died in a tragic car accident." I said._ _"When this happened, my brother was eighteen, so legally adopted my younger brother and I and took care of us. Five months ago, he told us he was going to join the Air Force. When he left a month later, his longtime girlfriend started taking care of us. He still has two months left of his six-month tour, and we've only talked to him a few times on the phone. It's been really hard."_

I had turned on the waterworks, which the eight years of musicals helped me with, and at the end, the two elderly women came up to me and gave me hugs. As soon as I left, I went to the bathroom and splashed my face with cold water so it wouldn't look like I was crying.

As I turned the corner to my house, I felt a feeling of satisfaction, having played them like a violin. And then, I saw Spot's car. When I got close enough, I saw him sitting on the hood.

"Hey." I said, waking up to him and kissing him before sitting down next to him.

"Hey." He smiled.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, then added, "Not that I'm complaining."

"I came to bring you back to my place, since my parents left for a concert, and Katherine said you should be home soon." He explained. "So I waited."

"Aww, you're so sweet." I said, wrapping my arm around his waist and pulling him in for a kiss.

After a few minutes, Spot pulled away.

"Wanna go back to my place?" He suggested, and I nodded. We jumped off the car and climbed into the front seats. As Spot turned the car on and started driving, I put my hand on his thigh, and left it there the rest of the ride.


	5. Love Turns You Upside Down

Spot's lips crashed into mine as he closed the door. We slowly shed our clothes as we made our way to his room. By the time we got there, neither of us were wearing shirts. He pushed me down on his bed, and fell down on top of me and started kissing me again. He started trailing his kisses down my neck and chest. I ran my hands through his hair, pulling at his sensitive spots, which made him moan. By the way he was kissing my chest, I knew he was going to leave marks for the next day. He and I made a pact when we first started going out that we would never leave hickeys in places others could see. He put his hands on the waistband of my jeans, then looked up me. I nodded, and he took them off. We rolled around in his bed for hours, having the time of our lives.

XXX

Spot and I were laying under the covers of his bed a few hours later. I was laying on his chest, and he had his arm around my shoulders.

"I should really get home." I said for the hundredth time, and still haven't moved. "I have a math final tomorrow."

Spot turned and looked at the clock on the nightstand next to his bed. "It's only eight thirty." He said. "You have time."

"Yeah, but I have to study." I said, nesting farther into Spot's chest.

"You can study in the car tomorrow morning." He suggested.

"You and I both know that you're not going to let me focus in the car." I teased.

"Yeah, that's true." He said, then kissed the top of my head. "I can quiz you."

"Yeah, right." I said. "You barely passed Geometry last year."

"Well, I got a seventy on the final that you're taking tomorrow, so that's technically a passing grade." He pointed out.

"Yeah, but I intend to get at least a B, so that's not gonna work." I laughed, and he did, too.

"Why do you care so much about grades?" Spot asked.

"Well, if I want to get into a good college, I need to be thinking about it now." I replied.

"Yeah, but that's not the only reason." Spot said. He and I had been together that he could read me like a book.

"Well..." I studdered. "I don't want to disappoint Jack."

"I figured." Spot said.

"It's just that we never see him, and I feel like he would be disappointed in me if I got bad grades, since he's always telling Crutchie and I to study and stuff." I explained.

"I don't know how he could possibly be disappointed in you with all the shows you do." Spot pointed out.

"Yeah, I guess." I sighed. "But still."

We layed there for a few more minutes in a comfortable silence before Spot started to sit up, which made me groan.

"Come on." He said. "Let's get you home."

"Ok." I sighed, picking up my clothes off the floor and slowly getting dressed.

XXX

I was laying in my bed, watching the ceiling fan above my bed go around in circles. I glanced at the clock next to my bed. It read 12:30. I finally gave up on sleep, and got out of bed and crossed the room to my desk. I clicked the lamp on and pressed the power button on my laptop, and watched it turn on. Once it was on, I pulled up Google Chrome and typed _summer shows in New York City_ into the search box, then hit enter. A whole bunch of options popped up, and I scrolled through them, getting more and more frustrated that I wasn't finding anything interesting.

Finally, on the third page, I found a production of _Into The Woods_ at this tiny theater outside the city that looked fun. I clicked on the page, and a green page with dancing trees on the side popped up, with the theater logo on top. I clicked on the button that read _Casting_ as read through what they were looking for in each of the characters. The one that I found most interesting was Jack.

I continued through the site, finding that the auditions were in a week and a half at the theater, and that the rehearsals took place every afternoon, five days a week, for the last week of June and the first two weeks of July. The performances were a month before Jack was supposed to get back, which was upsetting since he had never missed one of my shows, but it was going to be ok.

I went to the page with audition music and pulled up the song and monologue for Jack. I put my headphones in and started to listen and sing along to Giants in the Sky.

XXX

Spot honked his car horn in the street, so I ran out of the house. I opened the car door, and he looked me up and down when I got in.

"Wow. You look like hell." He commented, and I opened the mirror on the sunshade in front of me, and looked at my reflection.

I had dark black bags under my eyes, which were only half-open, and my hair was a mess.

"I do." I agreed, pulling a comb out of the glove box that Spot kept in his car for "emergencies". I pulled it through my hair, which made it look slightly better, but I still looked like crap.

Spot looked at me with a question in his eyes, so I started to explain. "I was up till ten studying for my math final, then I couldn't sleep, so I started preparing for an audition for a summer show."

"Did you get any sleep at all?" Spot asked, concerned.

"Maybe like an hour." I said.

"Ok, we're gonna stop and get you some coffee." Spot decided.

"Ok, but quick." I replied. "We're going to be late as it is."


	6. Before and After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another flashback chapter!

_I sat on the couch next to Crutchie, Wii remote in hand. He and I were racing Mario Cart, and I was in first place._

_"Come on, come on!" Crutchie yelled at his racer, Bowzer, as I threw a banana peel behind me and he slipped on it. I laughed as I crossed the finish line, winning the race._

_"Ha!" I exclaimed, jumping off the couch and doing a victory dance._

_"No fair!" Crutchie pouted, grabbing his crutch and standing up._

_"I win you lose! I win you lose!" I chanted._

_"Keep it down! We're studying!" Jack called from his place on the loveseat. Katherine was practically sitting in his lap._

_"Jack, we all know you're not studying. You and Katherine are just making out." I said. "I mean, look at your textbook. It's closed on the floor."_

_"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." Jack groaned, then went back to making out with Katherine, which she gratefully accepted._

_"Eww." Crutchie and I both groaned._

_Crutchie picked up his remote again, then turned to me._

_"Rematch!" He called, and we both sat back down on the couch and started a new race._

_Suddenly, the landline rang in the kitchen. Jack got up and went to answer it. Crutchie and I went back to our game, and Katherine picked the textbook up from the floor and started looking it over._

_"Hello?" I heard Jack say from the kitchen. "I'm their son... I'm sorry, what?... And where are they now?... Umm, thank you. Have a good day." I heard him hang up the phone and walk back into the living room._

_"What was it?" I asked, not looking away from the screen._

_Katherine got up off the love seat and walked around to the back of the couch where Jack was standing._

_"Babe, what is it?" She whispered to him. I paused the game and turned around to see a blank look on Jack's face. Crutchie also looked at Jack over the couch._

_He stood there for a moment, silent, then a single tear ran down his face._

_"Mom and Dad are dead." He said, then crumpled to the floor. Katherine crouched down next to him and pulled him into a hug._

_"What do you mean?" She asked. I looked over to Crutchie, who suddenly looked really small, who was silently crying. I pulled him into a hug._

_"They were in a car accident. They both died instantly. Their bodies are at the hospital." He explained from his position on the floor. "I'm supposed to go down there."_

_"I'll drive you." Katherine said, getting up and walking over to where she left her purse by the door. She walked over to Jack and grabbed his shoulders, gently pulling him up and leading him towards the door. "Come on, boys." She called gently, and Crutchie and I got off the couch and walked out the door and to her car._

XXX

_Crutchie and I sat in the back of a family room while Jack and Katherine sat on a couch next to a table, and a doctor was across from them in a chair. Jack was signing paperwork._

_"So this is consent forms for the procedures performed on your parents." The doctor said, pushing the first set of forms towards Jack, and he signed them._

_"This next one is permission for the funeral home to take them." He said, getting another set of papers._

_"But we haven't chosen a funeral home yet. We don't even know if we're having a funeral." Jack said, and the doctor apologized and took the papers back. He pushed forward the next ones._

_"These are for their death certificates." He explained, and Jack signed two papers._

_"Anything else?" Jack asked._

_"No, that's it." The doctor said, checking the table then nodding. "A social worker will be in soon to talk to you about your brothers."_

_"What?" Jack asked._

_"Well, they're minors, and they need to be under the custody of an adult." The doctor explained._

_"But I'm eighteen." Jack protested._

_"The social worker will go over everything with you." He said, then nodded and walked out of the room._

_"Is someone going to take us away?" Crutchie asked, and started to cry again._

_"No." Jack said, walking over to sit next to Crutchie and pulling him into a hug. "No. I won't let that happen. We're staying right where we are."_

_There was a knock at the door, and a woman walked in, and took the seat where the doctor was sitting a few minutes before. Jack got back up and took his old seat._

_"Mr. Kelly?" She asked._

_"Yes." Jack replied, getting up to shake her hand. She shook it, then they sat back down._

_"So we need to discuss your brothers." She introduced._

_"Well, I'm eighteen, so I was hoping I could take care of them." Jack said._

_"Well, you're going to need to go in front of a Judge to confirm your a responsible enough adult to take care of two young boys." She started. "Are there any other family who could take care of them in the meantime?"_

_"No." Jack responded. "Both of our parents were only children, and their parents are all dead."_

_"Well, I guess you could take care of them until you testify, and I'll try to get you a court date very soon." She said reluctantly. "Do you have a place to stay?"_

_"Yes, our parent's house." Jack replied, "The mortgage is all paid off."_

_"Ok." She said, then looked at Katherine. "Are you eighteen?"_

_"Yes." She replied, confused._

_"Do you live with them?" The social worker asked._

_"Uh, no." Katherine said. "I live with my father across town."_

_"Oh." The woman said, then went to start pulling papers out of her briefcase._

_"Why?" Jack asked._

_"Well, I would feel more comfortable leaving them with you if there were two adults present." She explained sheepishly._

_"Look. This may be a very difficult time, and I may not have been that responsible in the past, but I can step it up." Jack started. "I can be responsible for not only myself, but my little brothers, and I'm not going to let them get bounced around the foster system when I'm perfectly capable of taking care of them."_

_"Ok." The social worker said, pulling out two forms and a business card out of her case. Jack signed them, and took the card. "I'll be in touch."_

_"Looking forward to it." Jack replied as the lady walked out. As soon as the door was closed, he buried his head in Katherine's shoulder._

_"How am I going to do this?" He asked._

_"Shh." Katherine consoled. "It will be ok. I can help, and I'm sure others will, too. You can do this." She smiled, then kissed him._


	7. What A Difference A Day Makes

As I walked up the path towards the house after school the next day, I noticed a package on the front step. When I saw it, I ran up to the front and picked it up. The return address was from Iraq. I smiled and opened the front door.

"Guys!" I called, seeing Crutchie on the living room couch and hearing Katherine in the kitchen. "We got a package from Jack!"

Crutchie slowly got off the couch and Katherine walked out of the kitchen, and we all walked into the dining room.

I carefully opened the package, so I wouldn't rip anything, and three smaller envelopes fell out, all thick from multiple pieces of paper.

I grabbed the one labeled with my name and opened it.

Inside, there were a few pictures Jack had drawn, and a letter. A short one, in typical Jack fashion. He's never been a wordsmith.

_Dear Race,_

_This was written in late May. I don't know when it will arrive in the States. Anyway, the weather here sucks. It's always hot, and I'm always sweaty. But, the other day, I saw this beautiful landscape that reminded me about that show you did about the Wild West a few years back. I drew it and put it in this envelope._

_Love,_

_Jack_

I picked up the pictures Jack had sent. The first one was of a beautiful mountainside that looked strikingly similar to the set of a play that I did in seventh grade. The play was set in Santa Fe. I turned it over to reveal writing on the back.

_This reminds me of your Wild West show_

I looked at the next one, which was of him and all his bunkmates.

_Based off a picture. Me and my buddies posing in our tent_

The last one was of people playing soccer

_A few of my buddies playing soccer_

I looked up at Crutchie, who was giggling at his letter, then at Katherine, who was smiling at hers. We always loved getting letters from Jack.

XXX

As the bell rang at the end of school the next day, everyone cheered. School was finally out for summer vacation!

Everyone streamed into the halls and were talking, hugging, making summer plans, and whatever else they were doing. I saw Spot walking up to me through the halls, and I smiled.

"Hey." He smiled when he finally reached me, putting his arm around my shoulders.

"Hi." I said, kissing him on the cheek and putting my arm around his waist.

"Fags!" Some girl called from her locker when she saw us.

"Yeah, how many girls have you slept with?" Spot called at her as we continued to walk down the hall.

"Who was that?" I asked.

"The junior class slut." He replied. "She says she's a good Christian girl, but we all know she's out at bars every night having sex. With boys and girls."

"Wow." I said, pushing the school doors open and heading towards Spots car in the parking lot.

When Spot and I got into his car, he asked, "So what do you want to do? We have the whole afternoon."

"Well, we could see a movie." I suggested, pulling my phone out of my pocket and opening the theater sight.

"What's playing?" Spot asked, looking over my shoulder.

"We could see the live-action Aladdin." I suggested.

"Ugh. You with the musicals!" Spot teased.

"What? I'm a music geek." I defended.

"What else is on?" He asked.

"Umm... Endgame is still in theaters, the new Men In Black movie, Dark Phoenix, whatever that is..." I listed.

"Eh. Nothing sounds that good." Spot said.

"Well, we have to do something." I said. "We can't just go home and do nothing on the last day of school."

We sat for a moment in silence before Spot's face lit up.

"What?" I asked.

"I know exactly what we should do." He smiled. He turned on the car and put his seatbelt on.

"What is it?" I asked, putting my seatbelt on.

"It's a surprise." He smiled before pulling out of the parking lot.

XXX

We had been in the car for an hour and a half before Spot finally parked. We were at a little diner in the middle of nowhere.

"Spot, what are we doing here?" I asked. "This is just a diner."

"Yeah, well this diner has the best milkshakes in New York." He smiled, getting out of the car. I followed him out, and he grabbed my hand and squeezed it as we walked into the restaurant. I smiled. It was cute to see him so excited.

When we got inside, Spot led us to a small booth in a secluded corner, and a waitress in a fifty's style uniform walked up to us and handed us menus.

"Welcome to Barney's Diner. My name is Linda, I'll be your server. I'll give you two a few minutes to look over the menu." She smiled, then walked away.

"Look at the back page." Spot smiled, and I picked up the menu and turned it to the back page. It said _Milkshakes_ on the top, and there were pictures of huge milkshakes with crazy toppings like cake and doughnuts and pretzels on top decorating the page.

"Wow." I said. "You weren't kidding."

"Just wait until you taste them." He said, then went back to reading the menu. I looked down at the list of options to find that there was a million of them. Everything from classics like chocolate and vanilla to crazy things like cotton candy and salted caramel cheesecake.

When the waitress came back over a few minutes later, I had finally decided on a peanut butter pie flavor. Spot got banana.

"Banana?" I smirked. "Is that a hint about what's gonna happen later?"

"Maybe." He laughed. "I want to try every flavor, and this is one of the ones I haven't had yet."

When the waitress brought the milkshakes to our table, my jaw hit the floor. They were huge.

"Oh my god." I said. "This is amazing."

Mine had two pieces of peanut butter pie on the straw, with two pretzel sticks, and a rim coated in chocolate and sprinkles. When I took a sip, I moaned. Literally moaned.

"This is amazing." I said. "Thank you for bringing me here."

"Of course." He smiled, taking my hand in his on top of the table. "Any time."

"I love you." I smiled.

"I love you, too." He said, then started drinking his milkshake.


	8. Suddenly

By the time we got back from the diner, it was eight o'clock. When I opened the front door to my house, Crutchie and Katherine were sitting on the couch watching the news.

"Where have you been?" Katherine demanded, standing up as I walked in the door. I could tell she had been crying. "I've been calling you all afternoon!"

"Sorry, I was out with Spot and my phone died. What up?" I explained.

"A plane went down in Iraq. A big one. We don't know if Jack was on it or not." Katherine said, tears starting to fall down her face again.

"O-oh my god." I studdered, walking to sit down next to Crutchie on the couch. "W-when will we find out?"

"We don't know." Crutchie replied.

I looked at the TV. The headline on the bottom read _Plane goes down in Iraq._ The reporter was saying how an American plane was shot down in Iraq and has not yet been found. They didn't know who was on it, or how many had died. I could feel tears starting to stream down my face.

I heard the landline ring, which made me jump. Katherine ran into the kitchen to answer it.

"Hello?" She said, and Crutchie and I jumped up off the couch and ran into the kitchen, too. Katherine's face fell.

"It's Spot." She said, handing me the phone.

"Hey." I said, tears still falling down my face.

"Hi. I just saw the news. Are you ok?" He asked.

"Umm... I don't know?" I cried. "Maybe?"

"Do you want me to come over?" Spot asked.

"If you don't mind." I replied. "That would be nice."

"I'll be right over." He said, then added, "I love you."

"I love you, too." I said, then he hung up. I put the phone back on the receiver, then walked back out into the living room.

"Spot's coming over." I said. Katherine could barely manage a nod.

Crutchie was sitting next to her on the couch, hugging her. I walked over and sat down on the other side of her and did the same. She wrapped her arms around our shoulders and squeezed.

"Thank you so much, boys." She said through her tears. "I hope you know that you two mean the world to me. You're the brothers I never had." She let a small smile come through, which made Crutchie and I smile a little, too.

We stayed that way until we heard a knock at the door. I jumped up off the couch and answered it to see Spot standing outside the door. He pulled me into his strong embrace as soon as the door was open. Normally Katherine would yell at us for leaving the door open so long and letting the cool air out, but she couldn't care less at that moment.

He pulled away and we walked inside. He and I sat down on the loveseat, and he pulled me into his arms as soon as we were settled.

When the news story about the plane was being talked about again, Crutchie sat up and grabbed the remote, cranking the volume.

"...the plane that was shot down in Iraq was confirmed a few minutes ago to have had twenty passengers, nineteen being American soldiers and one being an Iraqian hostage." The newswoman explained from the TV. "Officials haven't found the plane yet, and are unable to release names of those on the plane, but they are actively searching..."

"I can't do this." I said, getting off the couch and running up to my room, slamming the door.

I sat down on my bed and started hyperventilating, unable to control my breathing. I felt tears start to stream down my face again.

"Race?" Spot called through the door. "Can I come in? I want to help you."

Unable to respond, I focused on my breathing.

"Ok, Race. I'm coming in." Spot said before opening the door. When he did, I looked up at him with a desperate look in my eyes. He ran over to me and pulled me into his arms.

"Race, I need you to breathe as I count, ok?" Spot said, rubbing my shoulders. "In, out. One... In, out. Two... In, out. Three... Four... Five..."

Spot counted from one to five over and over again until my panic attack subsided. My breaths were still shaky and tears were still running down my face, but I could breathe, which is what counted.

"Do you want to go back downstairs now?" He asked, and I nodded. He helped me off the bed and lead me with his arms around my shoulders back down the stairs and into the living room. The news was on another story, and the volume was turned down.

"Did we miss anything?" I asked.

"No. They wrapped it up after you went upstairs." Katherine said. Crutchie was starting to silently cry again, so I ran over and sat next to him, pulling him into a hug. He melted into my arms, and I could feel myself crying again, too. I was going to be dehydrated by the time this was over.

Spot walked over and sat on the armrest next to me, kissing the top of my head and wrapping his arms around my chest. I leaned back into him as the news story came back on.

"Officials have found the plane," The newscaster started, "and are now reporting fifteen dead, including the Iraqi hostage, and four severely injured. Families of the injured and deceased are now being notified with this information. Names of the deceased will be realized to the public in the morning."

I took a deep breath, at this point hoping to not hear the phone ring. Crutchie sat up and muted the TV, and we sat in dead silence for a few minutes, just looking at each other.

And then, the phone rang.


	9. Puzzle With A Piece Missing

Katherine jumped off the couch and ran into the kitchen to pick up the phone. We all ran after her.

"Hello?" She said, grabbing after only one ring. Her face was tense for a moment before she smiled and let out a sigh of relief. "It's Jack!"

We all let out a sigh as Katherine said, "I'm putting you on speaker. Crutchie, Race, and Spot are here."

"I'm so sorry to worry you all." Jack said through the phone. "We just heard about the accident, and there was a line for the phones."

"It's ok, Jack." Crutchie said. "We're just glad you're safe."

"Me too, buddy." Jack replied. I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was smiling.

There was an indistinct voice coming through the other side of the phone, and then Jack's muffled voice yelling, "Just two more minutes!"

"Ok, boys. I'm going to talk to Katherine alone now. I love you." Jack said, his voice clear again.

"We love you, too." Crutchie and I chorused, then Katherine picked up the phone and took it off speaker.

Crutchie walked out of the kitchen and through the dining room into the living room, then sat down on the couch and changed the channel on the TV. Spot and I walked out into the dining room.

"Thank you for coming." I said to him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Of course." He replied, wrapping his arms around the back of my neck and kissing me on the nose, which made me giggle. "Do you want me to stay?"

"No." I replied. "I have to practice for my audition. It's in a week and I don't know my monologue."

"Ok." He replied, pulling me in for a proper kiss. When he pulled away, Katherine had walked out into the dining room.

"Thank you for coming, Spot." She said. "It means a lot."

"Of course, Miss Pulitzer." Spot replied.

"Spot, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Katherine." She laughed. "I'm not their mom. Besides, I'm only like five years older than you."

Race shook his head and smiled, then gave me a quick peck on the lips before waving goodbye and running out the door.

"He's a keeper, Race." Katherine smiled.

"You don't think I know that?" I joked, then said, "I'm gonna head up to my room for the night. I need to rehearse for my audition next week."

"Ok." She replied. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." I replied, kissing her on the cheek and running upstairs to my room.

I opened the door and flicked on the lights, then walked to my desk and hit the power button on my laptop. When it turned on, the page with my monologue popped up. I read it over, then started reciting it.

"Good fortune! Good fortune, sir!" I read. "Look what I have! Here's five gold pieces. Where is Milky-White? You said I might buy her back. Are you saying that you wish more money? Keep this. I will go fetch more. Oh, Providence! My Milky-White. You see. I promised you more than the five gold pieces I gave you sir. Now I'm taking my cow. You took the five gold pieces! You said I could have my cow!"

I sighed, and flopped down on my bed. I loved doing theatre, but I hated memorizing lines, especially before auditions. It was such a pain in the ass, and I hated doing it if I didn't even know that I was going to get the part.

I got up off the bed and walked over to my bulletin board and looked at all the pictures I had hung on it. Family photos from all of my shows, along with the playbills from each show. The first year it was just me with Crutchie, Jack, Mom, and Dad. The next two years, Katherine joined us in each photo. After that, the next four years were just the four of us. Our screwed up, weird little family. Then the past year, Spot was next to me. I looked at all of our faces in the photos. We were all happy. We were all so, _so_ happy. It brought tears to my eyes that Jack wouldn't be in my show picture this year. _God,_ I missed him so damn much.

These were the times I wish I could call him and talk to him. Whenever I felt like this after Mom and Dad died, he was the one I would talk to. He always managed to make me feel better. But, with him away, we can't call him. He can only call us. He moves around there so much that he never calls us from the same number twice. I really just wish there was a way for us to call him.

I sighed and went back to my laptop and read off the monologue again. "Good fortune! Good fortune, sir! Look what I have! Here's five gold pieces. Where is Milky-White? You said I might buy her back. Are you saying that you wish more money? Keep this. I will go fetch more. Oh, Providence! My Milky-White. You see. I promised you more than the five gold pieces I gave you sir. Now I'm taking my cow. You took the five gold pieces! You said I could have my cow!"

Sighing again, I decided to lay down in my bed. I pulled out my phone and looking through my texts with Jack. He left his phone here when he left since it wouldn't work in Iraq, so we haven't texted in months, but looking through the text thread just made me feel better sometimes.

I looked back at some pictures he sent me from his work a year ago. He was bored at his desk and sent me a whole bunch of pictures of him making funny faces. I laughed. I missed when he was just a few taps away. I started to cry again. The rest of his tour was going to be a long next two months.


	10. What Have I Done To Deserve This?

With the scare with Jack that last Friday, I decided to go back to that support group the following Tuesday. I was reluctant because I wanted to spend as much time preparing for my audition as possible, but I felt like I knew my stuff pretty well. I mean, it couldn't hurt, right?

As I walked into the room, there was the same circle of chairs, and all the same people there were before.

"Race, we're glad to see you back." The lead woman smiled when she saw me walk in. I forced a smile and nodded, then went and sat down in a chair facing away from the door.

"Let's get started!" The woman clapped her hands, and everyone went to sit around in the chairs. As he did so, I heard the door open, then close again. I turned to see who it was, and was shocked when I did.

Davey nodded at me when he saw me, recognizing me from school, and sat down a few chairs away from me.

"For all of those new faces, my name is Markia." She started, and I tuned her out. I didn't need to listen to all the stories I had already heard the week before. I only started listening again when the circle got around to Davey.

"Uh, hi. My name is Davey... David." He started, clearly uncomfortable with speaking in front of people. "My... my dad was on the airplane that crashed in Iraq a few days ago. He... he made it out of the crash, but... he died later the next day in a military hospital." His eyes started to water a little, but he wiped them away with his hand.

"Oh... wow." Markia studdered. "That's... wow."

I shot a sympathetic look at Davey. I thought I had it bad that night, but I couldn't even imagine that. I couldn't imagine the pain he was feeling.

I sat through the rest of the meeting, in a daze, and finally checked back in when it was over. As Davey was walking towards the door, I jumped up out of my seat and walked after him, reaching him just before he walked out the door.

"Hey, wait up." I said, grabbing his arm.

"What do you want, Race?" He asked, almost bitterly.

"Look, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. About your dad." I explained.

"Why? You never cared about me before." He asked, his voice hard.

"I know how it feels to lose parents. And I want to help you through this, if I can." I said, putting my hand on his shoulder. Tears started running down his face.

"I just... don't know how to go on without him." Davey said, letting the tears fall this time. I pulled him into a hug.

"I know. I know. It will get easier, I promise." I comforted him.

"Wait." He said, pulling away. "You said 'parents'?"

"Uh... yeah. Both my parents died in a car accident when I was eleven." I explained.

"I'm so sorry, Race." He said, sympathy in his eyes.

"Hey, do you wanna go grab coffee or something?" I asked.

"Sure." He smiled sadly.

XXX

We walked down to the coffee house down the street from the library, and ordered coffee then sat down in a small table in the back corner.

"So... how did you find out? About your dad?" I asked, starting the conversation.

"My brother, sisters, mom, and I were out to dinner when they first called my mom about him... being in the hospital. We all got to talk to him since he was already out of his first surgery. His leg was ripped off by the plane." He explained, and tears were starting to run down his face again. He grabbed a napkin off the table and wiped them away. "The doctors closed the wound, but they didn't know at the time that he had an infection. It spread to the rest of his body, which ended up killing him. We got the call about that the next morning at breakfast."

"Oh wow." I said, taking in everything he just said.

"What about your parents?" He prompted, taking a sip of his coffee.

"My brother Crutchie, my other brother Jack, Jack's girlfriend and I were all in our living room when they called Jack about it. They both died instantly in the accident, but we still had to go to the hospital for paperwork and stuff." I explained, not shedding a tear. Since it was such a long time ago, I got comfortable talking about it a while ago.

"If... if you don't mind me asking... how are you not in a foster home if you were elven when they died?" Davey studdered.

"Jack was eighteen, so he took legal custody of us." I explained. "Now his girlfriend, Katherine, is taking care of us while he's gone."

"The same girlfriend as when your parents died?" He asked.

"Yeah." I laughed, taking a sip of my coffee before continuing. "Jack may seem like a player, but he's a hopeless romantic."

"That's funny." Davey said.

"Before Jack left, he hid an engagement ring for Katherine in my bedroom. He knew that was the only place she wouldn't go looking for stuff." I said. "I'm just excited to see how he proposes. I have a feeling he's gonna go all out."

"That's going to be so cute." Davey added, drinking more from his coffee.

After a pause, I said, "Look, I know how hard this can be. It's not easy getting over the loss of a parent, but I just want to know that I'm here for you if you ever need to just talk." I explained, writing my phone number down on a napkin and sliding it across the table to him. "I have a very loving and devoted boyfriend, so don't get any funny ideas, but don't hesitate to call or text anytime."

"Ok." He laughed. "I... I'm not gay." He studdered.

"Ok." I said. "I couldn't tell."

"It's cool." He said, shoving the napkin into his pocket. "Thanks."

"No problem." I smiled, finishing off my coffee.


	11. Something To Talk About

A few days later, when I descended the stairs, I saw Crutchie sitting on the couch in his phone. I plopped down on the couch next to him, and looked at what he was typing on his phone. He pulled the screen out of my view. Before he did, I spotted a few red heart emojis near the top of the screen.

"Dude, what the hell?" Crutchie exclaimed.

"Language!" Katherine called from the kitchen, and was ignored.

"What's the problem?" I said. "You always let me see who your texting."

"Yeah, well not this time." He muttered, scooting away from me on the couch and went back to typing. A little smile and a faint blush appeared on his face when he did.

"Oh... I see what's going on here." I smirked.

"What?" Crutchie asked defensively, pulling his phone close to his chest.

"Crutchie's got a girlfriend." I singsonged, and Crutchie's faint blush deepened into a bright tomato red.

"No, I don't!" Crutchie lied.

"Oh come on. What's her name?" I asked.

"...Ellie." He admitted, his face getting redder yet again. I didn't even know it was possible.

"What's she like?" I asked.

"Well... she's a theater kid." He started.

"Ooh. I like her already." I laughed.

"And she's really sweet... and supportive... and... well..." he leaned a little closer to me, still not revealing his phone screen, and whispered, "she thinks my crutch is sexy."

"Well, congrats, little bro." I said as he moved away, slapping his shoulder. He laughed and shook his head before going back to texting. When he did, the shy smile and slight blush re-appeared on his face. I laughed and got off the couch, then walked into the kitchen to see Katherine cooking dinner.

"What's for dinner?" I asked her, sitting down at the kitchen table.

"This new recipe I found on the Food Network Website." She explained vaguely.

"That's not a very descriptive answer." I teased her, and she looked up from her place at the stove to give me a dirty look before going back to her cooking.

"It's a vegetarian stir fry." She explained. "It has tofu, carrots, green beans, baby corn..." She trailed off, looking over at her phone that was sitting next to her, "and some sort of sauce that I can't pronounce."

I laughed, then felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket. I pulled it out and read an incoming text. It was from Spot.

 **Race's Whore** **:** Whatcha up 2?

I laughed, seeing the name Spot put in my phone for himself. We had a running game that any time we got a hold of each other's phones, we would change our contact name in the other's phone. I guess Spot got a hold of mine without me knowing recently. Our rule was we had to keep the name until the other changed it again.

 **Me:** Kat's cooking dinner. Wanna come over?

 **Race's Whore:** Let me ask my folks

"Can Spot come over for dinner?" I asked.

"Sure." Katherine sighed. "This recipe said it serves six, so that roughly translates to three teenage boys."

"Cool." I replied, and at the same time my phone lit up again.

 **Race's Whore:** I'll be there in 10

 **Me:** K

I put my phone face down on the table, thinking the conversation was over, but my phone buzzed again. I picked it back up to read the incoming text.

 **Unknown Number:** Hi, Race. It's David. I was wondering if you were around to talk?

 **Me:** I only have 10 mins

 **Unknown Number:** That's ok. I'll be quick.

I quickly added Davey's phone number to my contacts, walked out of the kitchen and into the dining room, then called him.

"Hello?" Davey asked when he picked up.

"Hey, Davey. It's Race." I greeted. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Well... it's just that... every year at the end of June, my Dad would take my little brother Les and I fishing, but Les doesn't understand that that's not happening this year, and I have no idea what to tell him." He explained.

"Well, if I were you, Davey, I would just tell him the truth. When our parents died, Jack always told me the truth with that kind of stuff, and it seemed to help." I advised. "Feeding lies to us always worse than being told an ugly truth."

"Yeah, I guess. Thanks, Race." Davey said.

"No problem." I replied.

"Race, come set the table!" Katherine called from the kitchen.

"I gotta go." I said.

"Bye." Davey said.

"Bye." I replied before hanging up the phone and slipping it back into my pocket.

I walked back into the kitchen and grabbed four plates, napkins, and forks from the cabinets and walked back out into the dining room and arranged them on the table in front of each chair. As I was finishing up, I heard the doorbell ring.

I went to answer it, and of corse, it was Spot standing on the other side. He smiled when he saw me, and I returned the gesture, and he grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me into a rough, passionate kiss. It took me aback for a moment before leaning into it.

"Mm. Hello." I said when he pulled away.

"Hi." He smiled.

"Dinner!" Katherine called, pulling Spot and I out of our daze. Spot walked off the porch and entered the house, and I closed the door behind him. We walked towards the table and sat down next to each other.

"This smells delicious, Katherine." Spot smiled.

"Thank you, Spot." Katherine replied, sitting down.

We all enjoyed that meal together, and ended up watching a movie after. Well, Crutchie and Katherine watched a movie. Spot and I made out on the couch. And Spot ended up staying the night. It was a good day.


	12. I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watchin' Me

As I sat in a plastic chair outside the auditorium, waiting for my name to be called, I couldn't help but feel a little nervous. I had done this so many times before that it had almost become second nature, but it was still nerve-wracking sometimes. I smiled at the thought that Spot was waiting in the car outside. He always took me out to ice cream after my auditions.

"Race Kelly?" A woman opened a door to the auditorium and said. I stood up, nodding my head, and she smiled. She gestured for me to follow her into the auditorium. I wiped my sweaty palms off on my pants and followed her in. As we entered, she walked down to sit at a table set up in the house, and I walked onto the stage.

"Hello. My name is Race Kelly, and I will be auditioning for the role of Jack." I introduced once I got to center stage. I looked around at the theater I was in. It was old-timey and beautiful. I was surprised I hadn't done a show in this theater before. I had done shows in most of the theaters in the county.

"Ok. We're going to have you sing first." One of the directors said, and I nodded. As the first notes started to play, I felt a sort of calm wash over me. I always did when I was singing.

" _There are giants in the sky_." I started. " _There are big tall terrible giants in the sky_."

As I continued through the song, I felt myself falling into the character. Jack and the beanstalk was one of my favorite fairy tales as a kid, so it was nice to get to turn that into somthing now.

" _There are big, tall, terrible, awesome, scary, wonderful giants... in the sky_!" I finished with the music, and took a deep breath. That was a hard song, and I was glad that it was over.

"Now the monologue, please." Another director called from the house, although I couldn't see any of them. Damn stage lights were too bright. I guess that was a good thing, though. The auditions where you're standing right in front of the directors was even more nerve-wracking. You could see every expression on their face, everything they write down in their notes. It was better this way.

"Ok." I replied, taking a deep breath, then jumping right in.

"Good fortune! Good fortune, sir!" I recited, trying to sound as lively as possible. "Look what I have! Here's five gold pieces. Where is Milky-White?" I pondered, starting to sound skeptical. "You said I might buy her back. Are you saying that you wish more money? Keep this. I will go fetch more. Oh, Providence! My Milky-White." I continued, sounding excited. "You see. I promised you more than the five gold pieces I gave you sir. Now I'm taking my cow. You took the five gold pieces! You said I could have my cow!"

As I finished, I swear I heard the word 'cow' projecting out around the room.

"Thank you, Mr. Kelly. We will call you tomorrow if we want you to come back for a callback." Someone said from the house. I nodded, then walked off the stage and out the door I came in, then towards the exit. When I got back outside, I finally let out the breath I didn't know I was holding.

I walked across the parking lot to Spot's car, and he smiled as I got in.

"How did it go?" He asked.

"Well, I don't want to jinx it, but..." I started. "I think it went great!"

"Oh, good job, babe!" Spot said, engulfing me in an awkward hug over the console of the car. We gave up and pulled away, and he pulled me in for a kiss instead.

As the kiss got more rough and passionate, Spots hands roamed to the hem of my shirt and tried to left it up over my head. I pushed him away, and Spot pouted.

"Not here." I explained.

"Why not? It's not like anyone's gonna see us. There's no one here!" Spot complained.

"If I get a part in this show, I'm gonna here every day for weeks. I don't want these people's first impression of me to be the boy who was doing it in the parking lot after his audition." I explained.

"Fine." He said, putting his seatbelt on, and I did the same. He turned the car on, smirking, then put his hand on my upper thigh, which wasn't helping my current _predicament_. As Spot drove, his hand inched up higher and higher on my leg until his hand wasn't on my leg anymore.

When we finally pulled into a parking lot, Spot pulled into an empty parking space near the back of the lot. It was a park trail lot, I realized. The lot was surrounded by trees.

Spot put the car in park and turned it off, then turned to me and smirked. I copied the motion, then climbed into the back seat of the car and lifted my shirt over my head. Spot followed me back and did the same. As soon as his shirt was off, he wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me into a rough, deep kiss. His hands explored my exposed abdomen, like they had so many times before. I ran my right hand through his hair and put my left on his hip, pulling him closer to me.

Spot deepened the kiss, pushing me down so I was laying down on the seat. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling his hips down towards mine. Spot began to move his lips down my neck and towards my chest.

Suddenly, we heard a knock on the window. Spot and I broke the kiss, sitting up to see Katherine and Crutchie at the window.


	13. Unaccompanied Minor

Spot and I quickly pulled our shirts on, then slowly and shamefully climbed out of the car. Katherine her hands on her hips and stared at us both with a disappointed expression on her face.

"A parking lot? Really?" She said. "Cars are no place to be having sex!"

Spot, uncharacteristically, just started at his feet, hands in his pockets. He almost always had something to say.

"Umm... Katherine?" I started. "I seem to remember walking in on you and Jack on multiple occasions in weird places when you two were in high school."

Katherine looked taken aback, unsure of what to say next. "Umm... learn from my mistakes." She stuttered.

"You're just upset cus your not getting any." I teased, making Katherine's face turn bright red.

"Crutchie, go wait in the car." Katherine said, acknowledging him for the first time in the entire conversation. She didn't take her eyes off Spot and I.

"What? No!" Crutchie argued.

"Go." She said firmly, turning to him this time. Crutchie, defeated, turned and limped back to the car. He had a sour look on his face the entire time.

"Race, you can't just go around saying things like that." Katherine complained.

"Well, you know it's true." I said. "Your boyfriend's overseas and you haven't had sex for four months, while I have. And you're mad about it." I could hear Spot snickering next to me. Katherine shot him an annoyed glance, promptly shutting him up.

Katherine put her head in her hands, took a deep breath, then looked up. "Look, if you're going to be having sex, at least do it at home. In a bed. Where it's safe."

"Where's the fun in that?" I pouted jokingly, then laughed. As Spot joined me in laughing, Katherine rolled her eyes.

"Just... do it at home!" She exclaimed before dramatically turned and stalked back to her car. She got in, and I could see Crutchie making kissy faces at Spot and I through the passenger window. I flipped him off as they drove away, making Spot die with laughter.

"I gotta tell ya, Racer. I didn't think you had it in ya." Spot said once he recovered from his laughing fit.

"Someone's gotta put her in her place without Jack around." I laughed, and we started walking back towards the car.

There was a moment of silence as we got into the car. Spot turned the keys in the ignition, starting the car.

"So, where are we going?" I asked. We had come here to get busy, and had no further plans.

"Wanna go grab lunch?" Spot suggested, and I suddenly realized how hungry I was. My audition was at noon, and I could never eat before an audition or my nerves would make me get sick. I had learned that the hard way too many times.

"Sure." I replied, and Spot put the car in reverse and started to pull out of the lot and back out to the main road.

As Spot drove, I messed with the radio until I found a station that was playing _Don't Stop Believein'_ by Journey, and started belting the lyrics. Spot hated the song, but it was my guilty pleasure.

"Don't stop! Believin'!" I screamed at the top of my lungs into the car, and Spot shot me a pissed-off look.

"You know you love it." I singsonged at him when the song ended.

"I hate that song." Spot grumbled, and I laughed.

I belted along to another song on the radio, _Take Me to Church_ by Hozier, before Spot hit the power button, visibly annoyed. But there was another emotion on his face. Was it... sadness?

"You good, Spot?" I asked, putting my hand on his knee. He turned and flashed an empty smile at me.

"Yeah. Fine." He responded, pulling into the parking lot of a Chick-fil-a.

"No, your not." I replied. He tried to open the door, but I reached over him and pulled it shut. "Wait. What's wrong?"

"It's... nothing." Spot replied, looking down at his lap.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" I said sincerely, leaning forward so I could look at his face.

"Yeah..." He trailed off, looking at me. A small smile started to spread across his face, but he stopped it.

"Spot, you were ok a few minutes ago. What's got you so down in the dumps all of a sudden?" I asked.

"Did you just say 'down in the dumps'?" He asked, a momentary smile spreading across his face.

"Yeah, I guess I did." I laughed. Spot laughed along with me for a few seconds before his face fell again.

"Seriously. What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's just... that song." Spot finally started to explain. "They played it at my sister's funeral."

"You had a sister?" I asked, shocked. "You never told me that."

"Yeah..." He started. "She was seven years younger than me. She was kidnapped when she was four, and..." a few tears started to fall down his face. I climbed up and sat down on the console and pulled him into my arms. He gratefully accepted the gesture, then went on. "And we... we found her body in a river a-a year l-later. After the funeral, my parents..." He trailed off again, tears turning into small sobs. "They m-moved us... h-here. Th-They couldn't s-stand to s-stay." He finally finished, breaking down in my arms. We sat there for a moment, Spot laying in my lap, sobbing. I almost cried myself. I could never understand the loss and devastation he must have felt. That he must be feeling.

"Oh, Spot." I whispered into his ear. "I'm so, so sorry." He didn't seem to hear me, but I continued to whisper condolences into his ear, until his sobs turned to small sniffles.

Once I felt it was safe to talk again, I asked, "Is that why your parents are so distant?"

"Yes." He sniffled. "They felt like they were bad parents for losing her. They thought it was their fault."

"Is there anything I can do to help you?" I asked, stroking his hair.

"Can we just have lunch?" He asked, looking up at me.

"Of course, babe. Of course." I replied, giving him a long, comforting kiss before getting out of the car and going into the restaurant.


	14. Support System

"Good luck." Katherine said as I got out of her car at the theater.

"Thanks." I said, closing the door. Normally Spot would've dropped me off, but his car was still getting worked on, so Katherine had to do it today. Normally he would give me a good luck kiss, so I was just hoping I wasn't screwed without it.

I took a deep breath as I walked into the theater. I saw some people I recognized from previous shows, but most I didn't know.

"Ok, everyone! Let's get started!" The director who was leading the auditions said. Everyone climbed up on the stage and sat down on the edge.

"Welcome to _Into the Woods_ callbacks!" She started. "We're going to start with the dancing portion. I would like everyone to line up in lines of ten across the stage. Anyone with significant dancing experience please stand towards the front.

I internally groaned. I hate dancing. I'm really good at it, I mean, I took five dance classes a week for ten years, but I just fell out of love with it. Now I just find it tedious and annoying. I also hate when people always compliment me on it. It just gets redundant after a while.

I stood in the front line of the dance formation. The director climbed up onto the stage and stood in front of us.

She pressed play on a piece of music and demonstrated a dance routine. She pressed play on the music again, and everyone repeated the number. We did it each again, each line one at a time, before moving on to the line-reading portion of the callback.

"Everyone who auditioned for Jack and the Baker, please stay on stage, and everyone else, please go sit out in the house." The director instructed. "Jack's stage left and Bakers stage right!"

I went to sit on stage left, and there were three other boys sitting there with me, all about my age or a little younger. There were four boys sitting on stage right, all in their twenties or so.

The director handed out sheets of paper with a short scene on them to everyone on the stage. I read it over and tried to imagine how I would act it out.

"Ok." The director clapped her hands. "You, and you." She pointed to the two boys on the downstage end of each line. "You two go first."

The first two pairs did the scene, then I stepped up to do it with the boy I was sitting across from.

"And... action!" The director called.

"Hello, there, young man." The boy started.

"Hello, sir." I recited.

"What might you be doing with a cow in the middle of the forest?"

"I was heading towards market, but I seem to have lost my way."

"And what are you planning to do there?" He asked.

"Sell my cow, sir. No less than five pounds." I continued.

"Five pounds? And if you can't fetch that sum? What are you to do?"

"I suppose my mother and I would have no food to eat." I ended the scene.

"Thank you, group three. Come sit in the house please." The director said.

I sat through the rest of the callback, not really paying attention to what was happening onstage. I only needed to read lines once, and I was confident in my performance. The other boys auditioning for Jack weren't very good. Not that I was cocky or overconfident or anything, but it was true.

At the end of the callback, an hour and a half later, the director said, "Thank you everyone for coming. The cast list will be emailed out to everyone in three days."

As I drudged outside, I felt rain start to fall as I opened the door. I groaned, and pulled my bag over my head to shield me from the rain. I scanned the parking lot, and a smile spread across my face when I noticed Spot's car. I ran over and pulled the passenger door open and hopped in.

"You got your car fixed!" I exclaimed, and Spot leaned over and pulled me into a long kiss.

"How were callbacks?" He asked, ignoring my comment.

"Fine, I guess." I replied.

"What's wrong? Did you totally bomb?" He asked, concerned.

"No, no. I did great. It's just that it was two hours long, and I only danced once and read once. I spend the majority of it in the house." I explained.

"Oh, I'm sorry babe." He said, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Can we just go hang out at your place?" I asked. "I just want to watch shitty movies and eat stale popcorn."

"Sure." Spot smiled, putting the car in reverse and backing out of the parking lot.

XXX

"Ok, what should we watch first? Mean Girls, Clueless, or Heathers?" I asked, sitting next to Spot on his couch and holding the TV remote.

"Those are all chick flicks." Spot complained, filling his mouth with popcorn.

"Yeah, but it's not like we're gonna be watching the movie anyway." I pointed out suggestively.

"Oh, that's true." Spot said, pulling me in for a kiss. I pushed my hips up a against his, but then pulled away.

"Let me at least get a movie started." I said, clicking 'play' on Mean Girls, then went back to kissing Spot.

When we were about halfway through the movie, Spot and I were both down to our boxers, and we had the sense to pull away and pull out clothes back on. Spot's parents could walk in at any moment. I mean, it's not like they would care, but still. Then, we fell into each other's arms.

"Wanna stay over?" Spot asked.

I smiled, kissing his cheek. "Sure."


	15. Walking On A Dream

The next three days were probably some of the longest of my life. I always hated waiting for cast lists to come out, because it always stressed me out, no matter how confident I was about my audition. It just gave me time to second guess everything I did.

"...Race? You in there?" Spot said, waving his hand in front of me. We were hanging out at the park one afternoon, just watching the kids play. It's not as creepy as it sounds.

"Yeah? What?" I asked, and Spot rolled his eyes.

"You've been distant ever since your callback. Are you ok?" Spot asked.

"Yeah. Fine." I replied, and Spot sent me a pointed glance. "You know how I get when I'm waiting for cast lists to come out!" I threw my hands up in mock surrender.

"Ok." Spot looked at me skeptically. "It would be nice if you could at least follow a basic conversation."

"Alright." I replied, and when Spot started talking about something else, I zoned out again.

"Ok. Fine." Spot sighed. "When does the cast list come out?"

"It's supposed to be emailed out today, but..." I trailed off when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, making the incoming email sound.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and clicked on the email on the lock screen, put my password in, and waited the painfully long five seconds it took to load.

**To:** _Kelly, Race_

**From:** _Into The Woods Summer 2019_

**Subject:** _Cast List and Rehearsal Information_

_Thank you to everyone who auditioned for our production of_ Into The Woods _this summer. There was no shortage of talent, but unfortunately, we did have to make some cuts. Please see the cast list below_

Into The Woods Cast List

_Rehearsals will be from 2-5pm every Monday - Friday for the next three weeks until the show, and tech rehearsals will be the Tuesday and Wednesday before the show opens, from 1-8pm._

_We can't wait to see you at rehearsals!_

_-_ Into The Woods _Directors team_

I didn't read any of the email, I just clicked on the hyperlink that read to the cast list. I scanned it until I found the only one that mattered to me.

**Jack:** _Race Kelly_

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"What? What?" Spot asked.

"I got Jack!" I exclaimed, jumping up off the bench.

"Congratulations, baby!" Spot exclaimed, jumping up and pulling me into a tight embrace.

We stood there for a moment, looking like idiots, and then I sighed.

"What's wrong?" Spot asked.

"I just wish I could tell Jack." I replied, keeping tears back.

"Yeah, babe. I know." He said, kissing my cheek. "But you can tell him next time he calls."

"Yeah, I guess." I replied. "It's just that whenever I got a role in a show, Jack would always take me out for ice cream to celebrate. Ever since I was little."

"I could take you out for ice cream." Spot suggested, and I laughed.

"Ok. Sure." I laughed, and he pulled out of the hug and slung his arm around my waist, leading me towards the car.

XXX

Spot and I went to get ice cream sundaes at this little place that not many people knew about. It was the same place Jack always took me after a cast list came out. Their sundaes were bigger than my head. We both got our own, and each ate the whole thing. We both felt so full and disgusting that I just crashed at Spot's place.

The next morning when I woke up, Spot and my arms and legs were tangled together in the bed, and I smiled. I loved waking up like this. It was my favorite way to start the day.

Spot woke up a few minutes after me with a sigh.

"Good morning." I whispered in his ear.

"Mm. Good morning." He smiled, kissing my cheek. I was dissatisfied with that and grabbed his face in my hands, pulling him in for a real kiss.

"I wish I could wake up like this every day." I smiled.

"Yeah, me too." Spot smiled, then tried to get out of the bed.

"What are you doing?" I asked, pulling him back down into bed.

"Getting up." Spot said.

"No. We're staying right here." I instructed.

"Ok." He smiled, laying back down and kissing me again.

We layed there in that bed for the next hour, kissing until our lips were puffy and red, and we both had hickeys all over our necks, shoulders, and collarbones.

After that, Spot tried to get back up again, and I pulled him back down.

"Spotty... stay with meeeeee." I whined, trying to get him back into the bed.

"Come on. Let's at least get a shower and some breakfast. It's..." He checked the time on his phone. "Eleven thirty."

"Can't we just stay here all day?" I moaned, rolling around in the bed, and making Spot laugh.

"Nope." He said, using his crazy-ripped arms to pull me out of the bed and towards the bathroom. "We both need a shower."

"Together?" I asked.

"Sure." Spot said, marching into the bathroom and turning the shower on.

XXX

I sat at the kitchen table as Spot made scrambled eggs, hair wet and in Spot's too tight clothes. I didn't mind they were too tight, though, since Spot said it made me look sexy.

"Ok, here you go." Spot said, dumping the eggs onto two plates, and placing one in front of me. He sat down across from me with the other plate in front of him, and handed me a fork. We both started eating at the same time.

"Ugh. I think I'm still full from yesterday." I commented after I swallowed my first bite.

"I believe it." Spot said, still eating his eggs. We finished the food on our plates in silence before putting the dishes into the sink and walking out to the living room.

I fell into Spot's arm on the couch, and we just sat there for most of the day, watching crappy TV.


	16. Got To Be Real

A month later, I walked into my first tech rehearsal at the theater.

"Hey, Race!" One of the little boys in the ensemble ran up to me and said, holding his hand up for a high five.

"Hey, Elmer." I smiled, high fiving him. "What's up?"

"They're doing It Takes Two now." Elmer said, and I looked at the stage. The man and woman, Jacobi and Medda, who were playing the baker and his wife were just finishing up the number, and they were kissing.

"Eww." Elmer said, and I laughed.

"Believe me, kid. When you get into middle school, that's all your going to be thinking about." I informed him, and Elmer stuck his tongue out in disgust.

"Race, are you here yet?" The director called from the stage.

"Right here!" I said, raising my hand.

"Good, get up here." She said, and I ran and jumped up on the stage. The director, Hannah, gave me a dirty look.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Don't do that." She said sternly, before turning to the stage. "I want to run Giants in the Sky a few times with the light crew."

"Kay." I said, walking over to my spot for the top of Giants.

I ran through the song a few times, and Hannah gave me a million notes each time. She was such a perfectionist.

"Ok, take five, Race." She said, then turned to the house, and cupped her hands around her mouth to create a makeshift megaphone. "Dance ensemble! I want to run the act one finale background dance. Get up here!"

I jumped off the stage and ran down the center aisle out into the lobby, where Albert and Mush were sitting. They played the princes.

"Hiding from Hannah?" I joked, sitting down on the floor next to them.

"Yeah." Mush laughed.

"We thought that if she can't find us, she won't make us do Agony twenty times again like yesterday." Albert laughed.

"Yeah." I replied. "She just made me run Giants fifteen times." I said, wiping sweat off my brow and leaning my head against the wall.

"Damn. And you have to dance. We just kinda stand there." Mush said, and I pulled my phone out of my pocket and opened Skype, clicking Spot's name. He picked up immediately.

"Hey, babe. What's up?" He said.

"I just wanted to see you." I smiled, and he smiled over the screen. I looked over at Albert and Mush, who were making kissy faces at me. I flipped them off. "What are you up to?"

"Just watching TV." Spot said, turning the phone around to show me what he was watching, then turning it back to his face. "You?"

"Hiding from Hannah." I laughed. "She just made me do Giants like fifteen times, and that's a workout."

"I can tell." Spot laughed through the screen. "You're all sweaty."

"Ha. I'm sure." I replied, running my hands through my hair and cringing. I really was dripping sweat.

Suddenly, the door burst open. Albert, Mush, and I all jumped. We all looked to the door and saw Elmer pop his head out into the hall.

"Albert, Mush, Hannah is looking for you. She wants you two to go over Agony in the studio." Elmer said. Albert and Mush groaned, and Spot laughed over the phone. Elmer walked out into the lobby as Albert and Mush entered the theater, and the little boy plopped down next to me. I ruffled his hair.

"Who's this?" Spot asked.

"This is Elmer." I replied. "He's one of the little kids in the dance ensemble."

"I'm the youngest in the whole cast!" Elmer said, bouncing up and down.

"Elmer, this is my boyfriend, Spot." I said, pointing to the screen.

"Hi, Spot!" Elmer said, waving at my phone, and Spot laughed.

The door burst open again.

"Why are you two out here?" Hannah demanded, bursting into the lobby. "Get your asses in here!" She slammed the door as she walked back into the theater.

"I guess I gotta go." I said to Spot as Elmer stood up.

"Ok." Spot said. "Love you."

"Love you." I smiled, then hit the end call button. I stood up off the floor, and Elmer and I walked back into the theater.

"Ok, everyone!" Hannah said, clapping her hands. "I want to run the show from the top, full costumes! Remember, we open in two days, so we've gotta get this right!"

Everyone started heading through the dressing rooms, and Albert walked up beside me. "Yeah, we're never gonna get through an entire run through with Hannah's ridiculous notes and perfectionism."

"Probably not." I laughed, walking towards the dressing room.

XXX

Spot picked me up from rehearsal a few hours later, then we went back to his place.

We were sitting on the couch in each other's arms when Spot asked, "Are you excited for your show?"

"Yeah." I said. "More than anything, I'm excited to have my time back."

"I'm sure." Spot laughed, rubbing circles with his thumb on the back of my neck as I started to tear up.

"What is it?" Spot asked.

"I really just wish Jack could be there." I explained. "He's been there opening night of all the shows I've ever done. It just feels wrong that he won't be there."

"I'm so sorry, babe." Spot said, kissing the top of my head. "I can't imagine how hard this must be for you."

"I just miss them so much." I whispered.

"Your parents?" Spot asked, and I nodded. He tightened the hug he was already holding me in, and just let me cry. I figured it was better to get this out before opening night. I needed to focus then.

Spot sat there in silence, comforting me, until I sat up and wiped the last tears off my face.

"Are you ok?" Spot asked.

"Yeah, I think so." I smiled sadly, and Spot pulled me back into his arms and picked up the TV remote.

"How about we just watch some shitty TV?" He asked.

"That sounds good." I smiled, and turned my attention to the TV.

I couldn't help but smile as I thought, _I have the best boyfriend._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me projecting about the director I had when I did Into The Woods? No, definitely not.


	17. Superstition

Spot and I layed in each other's arms on the loveseat in my living room, half watching Crutchie and Katherine playing Minecraft together. How Crutchie convinced Katherine to play that with him is beyond me. I've asked her so many times and she's always said no. Maybe it's just the Crutchie charm.

"Are you ready for opening night?" Spot asked me. "It's in a few hours."

"Yeah, I guess." I said, rubbing circles on the back of Spot's hand with my thumb.

"What do you mean 'I guess'?" Spot asked.

"It just feels weird without Jack here, ya know?" I said.

"Yeah." Spot agreed absentmindedly.

"I'm sorry. I feel like a broken record about this." I smiled sadly up at Spot.

"No, it's fine. You miss your brother. I get it. You know I do." Spot said. "Your just lucky that he's gonna come back. I just wish I had that opportunity with my sister."

"I'm so sorry about her." I consoled.

"It was a long time ago." Spot sadly smiled.

"Yeah, but that doesn't change the fact that you miss her." I said, sitting up. "No matter how much time goes by, you still get to miss her. You still get to be sad. You know I understand that, too."

"Thanks." Spot smiled, then kissed my nose, making me giggle. Then he pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the time. "We gotta go!"

"Ok." I said, reluctantly hopping off the couch.

"Good luck, Race!" Crutchie said from his place on the couch, pulling his focus from his game for a minute as I left.

"You're gonna so great." Katherine added, standing up and pulling me into a hug. I thanked them and Spot and I ran out the door.

XXX

"How ya feeling? You ready?" Spot asked as we sat in the theater parking lot.

"Yeah." I smiled falsely. He already pulled me out of this rut once. He shouldn't have to do it again.

"Ok. Your gonna kill it." Spot smiled, pulling me in for a kiss. "Now go. I'll see you after the show."

"Love you." I said as I ran out of the car and into the theater.

"Love you!" He called after me.

I ran into the theater and right back into the boy's dressing room, where Albert, Mush, and Elmer where already waiting, along with the rest of the boys in the cast.

There was a knock on the door, and Hannah burst into the room.

"Is everyone ready for opening night?" She asked, and everyone started cheering. "Good! Now get dressed, get mic'ed and head over to the girls dressing room in fifteen minutes to warm up!"

At that point everyone started running around to get their costumes on. I walked out to the sound booth and got my mic put on, then back into the dressing room to put my costume on, all in a daze. All I could think about was Jack.

Jack isn't here.

Jack isn't here.

Jack isn't here.

Jack isn't here.

"...Race?" Albert said, snapping his fingers in front of my face.

"What?" I asked, pulling myself out of my thoughts.

"You good?" He asked.

"Yeah. Fine." I lied.

"Dude, you were staring at the wall for the past five minutes, mumbling." Albert mused. "That's textbook crazy."

"Sorry. My mind is just... elsewhere." I said, then Albert grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the dressing room and into the adjacent props closet.

"What's going on?" Albert demanded.

"Nothing. It's... nothing." I tried.

"No. We're not leaving this closet until you tell me what's wrong with you, and we have a show to do it ten minutes, so spit it out." Albert said.

"My brother isn't coming tonight." I started. "He's been to every single show I've ever done. But he's in the Air Force, stationed in Iraq right now, and it's just really hard thinking about doing a show where he's not in the audience."

"You said your parents died, right? In a car accident?" Albert asked.

"This isn't helping, Al." I said, crossing my arms.

"Just answer the question." He rolled his eyes.

"Fine. Yes, they did." I responded curtly, rolling my eyes.

"So, what did you do when you felt this way after your parents died?" He asked. I stood there and thought for a minute.

"I was nine, I don't really remember." I said finally.

"Bullshit. Try and think." Albert said, and I sighed as I thought back to the show I did when I was nine.

_I sat with my legs up against my chest in the corner of the dressing room, letting my tears fall onto my costume. I heard someone come in and call places, and a few of my older castmates coaxed me up and onto the stage._

"I cried." I said, coming back to reality. "A lot."

"Well, you don't have time to cry now, buddy. We've got to get to the girls dressing room. Do you think you'll be ok?" Albert asked.

"Yeah, I think I will." I said, feeling slightly better.

Albert and I met up with everyone else in the girls dressing room, and we stood in a circle and did warms up. After that, Hannah started to give us a pep talk.

"Working with all of you for the past two months has been an amazing experience." She started. "You are all wonderful people, and you've worked so hard to get to where you are today. You're all going to kill it out there. Now, let's go have an amazing show!"

Everyone cheered as they headed for their places for the top of the show.

As I walked on stage and sat down on the stool in my 'house' where I started the show, I stared at the closed curtain.

 _Although Jack isn't here, you can do this._ I thought to myself. _You are going to kill it tonight._

I went perfectly still as the curtain opened, putting my hand on the head of the plastic cow in front of me. As the lights when up, I took a deep breath.

_I can do this._


	18. With You I'm Born Again

I walked out into the lobby of the theater after the show, and smiled when I saw Katherine, Crutchie, and Spot all waiting in the corner of the lobby. I ran over to them and pulled them all into a hug. They all laughed.

"You did amazing." Katherine said after I pulled away.

"Really. Congratulations, baby." Spot said, kissing my cheek and wrapping his arm around my waist.

"You did awesome!" Crutchie said.

The four of us started talking about the show when I felt a tap on my shoulder. When I turned around, I couldn't believe my eyes.

"Jack!" I exclaimed as I jumped into my big brother's arms. He smiled and laughed as Crutchie joined us in the hug.

"How are you home?" I asked into his chest. He was still wearing his uniform.

"I'll explain everything later." Jack said. Crutchie and I pulled away, and Jack walked over to Katherine and pulled her into a long hug, hoisting her off her feet in the process. He put her down, then pulled her in for a long kiss.

"When did you get back?" I asked. I was smiling so hard my face hurt.

"About three hours ago." Jack said. "I went home, but no one was there. And then I remembered your show was today."

"So you saw it?" I asked.

"I did." Jack smiled. "You did amazing, buddy." He ruffled my hair, which made me laugh. Spot walked up to me from where he must have backed away to when Jack showed up.

"Hey, I'm gonna go." He said.

"No, stay." I said. "I want you here."

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yes." I said, putting my arm around his waist. He repeated the gesture.

"Thank you for taking care of him, Spot." Jack said.

"Of course." Spot laughed, kissing me on the cheek.

Jack was standing across from Spot and I, one arm over Crutchie's shoulder and the other over Katherine's.

"Do you guys want to go home?" Katherine suggested.

"Yes please." Jack said. "I'm exhausted after that long flight."

"Wait." I said, pulling my phone out of my pocket. "We need to take a picture."

I held up my phone and everyone gathered around for the picture. After I took it, we all started to head for the door.

"Race!" I heard as we all walked towards the door. I turned around and saw Davey running up to me. "You did awesome!"

"Thanks for coming, Davey." I said, pulling out of Spot's arms to give him a quick hug.

"Who's this?" Jack asked.

"This is my friend Davey." I explained. "We met at... the library." I said, and he and I both laughed. No one needed to know why I was at the library.

"Is this Jack?" Davey asked.

"Yeah." I smiled. "He just got back today."

"I'm so happy for you." Davey smiled, then, after a pause, he added, "Well, I should get going."

"Thank you so much for coming." I smiled again.

"Of course." He smiled, then walked out of the theater.

"The library?" Spot whispered I walked back into his arms. "Since when do you go to the library?"

"I... Uh... needed a book." I lied terribly.

"Uh-huh." Spot said sarcastically, then we both laughed.

We all walked to the car and drove back home. When we got there, we all sat down in the living room. Crutchie sat in the lounger, Spot and I sat on the couch, and Jack and Katherine sat together on the loveseat. Jack was whispering things into Katherine's ear, which was making them both laugh.

"How are you home?" I asked Jack again, pulling them out of their own little world.

"I... I got hurt." Jack said, pulling up his pant leg to expose a long scar. Katherine leaned forward and ran her fingers up and down it. It looked mostly healed.

"What happened?" Katherine asked.

"A helicopter went down." Jack started. "A piece of shrapnel got lodged in my leg. The surgeons removed it, then they shipped me off to a military hospital in Germany. They kept me there until my leg was healed, which I guess was yesterday."

"How long were you there?" Crutchie asked.

"Probably about three weeks." Jack answered.

"Three weeks?" I asked.

"Y-yeah. I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys." He lamented.

"It's ok." Katherine smiled, and kissed him. Jack seemed to remember somthing because he took Katherine by the hand and pulled her towards the back of the house. Spot, Crutchie and I, confused, stood up and followed them. They had apparently gone to the backyard, so we followed them out. When we opened the door, there were lit candles and rose petals all over the porch. Jack was on one knee in front of Katherine, holding up a ring.

"Katherine... will you marry me?" Jack asked, not noticing us walking into the yard. All three of us smiled, and Spot kissed my cheek.

"Yes!" Katherine said. "A thousand times yes!" Jack slid the ring on her finger, and Jack stood up and lifted her off her feet, kissing her.

"When did you set this up?" She asked when he put her down.

"When I got home, I saw an opportunity." He laughed, kissing her again.

I cleared my throat, and Jack and Katherine looked over at us, slightly sheepish.

"Congratulations!" Crutchie said, doing his best to run over to them. They closed the distance and pulled him into a hug.

"So romantic." I smiled.

"I know." Spot smiled.

"Do you think that will be us one day?" I asked.

"Maybe. Who knows." Spot smiled, then kissed my cheek. I ran over to join Jack, Katherine, and Crutchie in the hug, and I felt Spot come up behind me and join us, and I smiled. No matter how messed up or broken, I loved our screwed up little family.


	19. Epilogue

Jack walked into my bedroom to wake me up.

"Race, come on. Let's go." He said, shaking me awake. "Your alarm went off ten minutes ago."

"Five more minutes." I groaned.

"It's your senior year, Race, you're not missing the first day." Jack said, ripping my covers off.

"I'll go tomorrow." I groaned again, rolling over.

"Nope, get up." Jack said, and I reluctantly rolled out of bed, and Jack left the room so I could get dressed.

I finished getting dressed, a T-shirt that said _I love my boyfriend_ on it that Spot got me as a gag gift over the summer and a pair of khaki shorts, and then walked out to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and hair. When I opened the door, I ran into Crutchie, Charlie, in the hallway without his crutch. At the end of last school year, he was enrolled in a clinical trial for polio patients and got surgery to fix his leg. After he started walking without the crutch, he insisted everyone call him Charlie again.

I walked down the stairs and to the kitchen to see Jack cooking scrambled eggs, and Katherine making sandwiches.

"Happy first day of school!" Katherine said, walking over to me and pulling me into a hug, her baby bump pushing up against my chest, and her rings digging into my neck. I just groaned. She was eight months pregnant, but it felt like the longest eight months of my life. The pregnancy was making her hormones go crazy, and her mood swings were giving me whiplash.

"Why are you up?" I asked her. "Two days ago you made a big stink about not getting up with us on school days. How 'school starts at the ass-crack of dawn and you already did your time'." I quoted.

"It's the first day of school!" She said. "After that, damn straight I'm sleeping in."

I groaned again as I sat down at the table, and Jack placed a plate with scrambled eggs in front of me. I put salt and pepper on it before eating it.

Crutchie... Charlie walked into the kitchen, barely limping anymore, and sat down next to me at the table. He had practiced walking for hours every day before school started so it was perfect when he started his sophomore year this year.

After I finished eating my eggs, I moved my plate away and layed my head down on the table.

"I'm going back to sleep." I groaned, closing my eyes.

"Come on. Get up." Jack said, shaking my shoulders. "You need to drive Cru... Charlie to school."

"Do I have to?" I groaned again. "I really just want to sleep."

"Oh, come on, Race. Its the first day of your senior year! You should be excited." Katherine singsonged, dancing around the kitchen. "Your the oldest in the school, you get all the leads in the musical, you get to start looking at colleges..."

I tuned her out as Jack placed a plate of the same eggs he gave me in front of Charlie. The three of us laughed at her as she absentmindedly twirled around the kitchen.

As Jack started to walk back towards the stove, Katherine ran into him.

"Hi." She smiled.

"Hi." He smiled back, putting his hand on her belly. Katherine just giggled and grabbed his shirt, pulling him in for a kiss. As she did, she put her hand on his ass, and both Charlie and my eyes widened as she did so.

"It's like they're in high school all over again." I leaned over to Charlie and whispered.

"I know." Charlie laughed around a bite of egg. "Jack seems to be enjoying it, though." he jerked his head towards Jack, and I looked at his pants and suppressed a laugh. It wasn't hard to guess what they were going to do after we left.

Jack finally pulled away and whispered something into Katherine's ear, which made her pout, then giggle as he continued. She squeezed his ass before letting go and saying a quick, "Good luck at school, boys!" and running out of the room and up the stairs.

Jack, blushing beet red, sat down at the table.

"Get it, Jack." I mused.

"Shut up." He said before regaining his composure. "You've got to leave in ten minutes, so you two had better hurry up."

I groaned as I got out of my chair and walked up the stairs to my room. As I did, I passed the room that was going to be the nursery. I stopped in the doorway and smiled, looking at all the stuff Jack and Katherine got for their little baby. No matter how annoying pregnant Katherine was, I was still really excited for this little baby.

I continued to my room and grabbed my backpack, shoes, and phone. I saw a text from Spot.

_Good luck at school today. Luv u_

I smiled and replied with a simple _Luv u_ before slipping my shoes on and tying them. I ran back down the stairs and saw Charlie putting his shoes on in the hall. He and I both bid quick goodbyes to Jack before walking out to my car in the driveway.

I had a simple silver pickup that I got for a really good price off a neighbor after I got my license. I held off on getting my permit until Jack got home because I wanted him to teach me how to drive. Katherine offered, but she's never been the best driver.

As Charlie and I climbed into my car, we were both smiling.

"What are you smiling about?" I asked him.

"It's my first time at school without the crutch." He explained.

"Your gonna have a hard time dropping that nickname, though." I laughed.

"I like to think that died with the crutch." Charlie said stubbornly, and I laughed inside my head at that thought. I tried to drop Race for years and go back to Anthony, but I eventually gave up. Once you get a nickname in school, you're stuck with it.

"Why were you smiling?" Charlie asked.

"Oh, I just really like driving." I smiled again, turning the car on. As I pulled out of the driveway and began the drive to school, I thought back to the past year with Jack home. No matter our losses, we didn't really realize how good we had it before he left. Once he got back and we fell back into our normal routine, we all seemed a little happier. I smiled at the thought of our little family. Jack, Katherine, Charlie, the baby, Spot... they were all the lights of my life, and I would do anything for them. No matter how screwed up and random, I loved my life, and I wouldn't trade any of it for anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read this story to the end! I love you all!
> 
> Kisses!
> 
> Love, Lilluv


End file.
